thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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