I wish I could punch you in the face.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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