Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
