I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize