Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
