ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Please, let me fuck your mom
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
