I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
