Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
