I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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