i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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