so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
