I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
