She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
