I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
