Pants 0. Shit 1.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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