Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
