The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
