he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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