my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
