my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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