i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
