Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
