I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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