we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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