my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
