watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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