Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
