It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
