just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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