You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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