he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize