If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
