sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
