why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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