do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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