spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
