The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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