Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize