i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
