that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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