Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
