My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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