They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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