Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
