I want to have your abortion
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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