just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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