There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
