The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
