I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
