I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
